I've forgiven others...

But why haven't I forgiven myself?
I just don't really understand.
I've forgiven that person's mistakes
But I don't think I've forgiven my own..

Whenever I think back at what I did to get what I wanted;
The people I used
The happiness I might have taken away from them
It's just like.. I have to say to myself,
"Wow, Sarah. That was soo incredibly stupid. I thought you were better than that."

But I'm not perfect. I need to forgive myself in order to completely go on, in my opinion.

I think I haven't forgiven myself because whenever I think about it, I know I was dumb and hurt others.
&I absolutely loathe hurting others.
I haaate myself for doing what I did (even if no one else sees it as a big deal.)
And we all know how hard it is to forgive someone we hate.

I realize I hurt so many because I was too concerned about myself and my feelings, and I never thoroughly thought things through.

Then again, there's always that bright side.
I learned soooo much from my mistakes.
I realized how to distinguish these feelings
and how to really think things through
Consider others' feelings before mine
Think about who deserves it more.
Me or them?
I think I was selfish
Got what I wanted for a while,
But it was gone in the worst way possible.

But I've learned.
And I thank God for all the things I've realized...



SUBJECT CHANGE!
Tonight (Saturday March 14) was my faaaave show date so far.
SOOO MANY FUNNY THINGS.
hahahhahahhahaha.
Omg, during epilogue. HAHAHA.
I told Katie to look and see all the people who were crying
she told Nicole
I told Kristina
we were like all laughing because of it.
bahahhahahaha(:

Goodnight!